The internet has opened many doors for people to explore their sexuality and to access information about sexual health and relationships.
However, it has also increased some of the risks - and created new challenges - which people may encounter, and can lead to misinformation about sex, relationships and wellbeing.
Meeting people online for dating, hookups or outings has become more popular over the years however, it is important to know how to keep safe and avoid being scammed, blackmailed or harmed.
If you arrange to meet someone online, you should:
- Arrange to meet in a public place
- Do your research on the person beforehand
- Make your own way there and have a way to get home safely
- Avoid alcohol
- Make sure someone knows where you’re going, and when you expect to return
- Leave immediately if you feel uncomfortable or that something is ‘off’
"Catfishing" is a term used to describe people who purposely portray themselves as someone other than who they really are. It can involve stealing another person’s identity, lying about their age, physical appearance, job, or location. Catfishes target vulnerable people to either commit financial fraud or mislead someone into entering a relationship with them.
If any of the following apply to someone you are talking to online, there’s a good chance they are a catfish:
- They avoid sharing photos, video chatting or voice chatting
- They ask you to keep your relationship or friendship a secret
- You cannot find any trace of them online
- Conversations become too personal, too quickly
- There are inconsistencies in their stories
Do not agree to meet up with anyone whom you think may be a catfish, even if you feel their intentions are genuine. Criminals come up with convincing stories that may cause you to feel sorry, empathise or even relate to them – this is a tactic commonly used to make you feel guilty for declining their advances. If in doubt, block, delete and report.
Although it is not strictly illegal to watch porn if you are under 18, it is illegal to show or provide access to pornography to someone who is under 18.
If you are 18 or over, you might choose to watch pornography with your partner, or alone. If you do decide to watch porn, ensure it is something you are comfortable with. It’s important to know that porn does not represent real life, consent or real intimate scenarios: the people depicted are actors performing a scene for entertainment.
Consuming pornographic content can be part of a normal, healthy relationship. It can open discussions about what you and your partner like in intimate settings, can help if you have different sex drives, or to bring some variety to your sex life.
Unhealthy porn consumption includes:
- Becoming dependent on porn to reach orgasm or become aroused
- Comparing your, or your partner’s bodies to adult actors/actresses
- Allowing porn to affect your expectations of sex
- Coercing or forcing your partner to re-enact activities you see in porn
- Lying or not being open with your partner(s) about watching porn
- Spending large amounts of money on pornographic content that results in financial issues
Some porn categories can be harmful, or illegal. If you come across something that makes you uncomfortable, or is illegal (which may include under-18s, animals or depictions of assault) you can report it to the police or the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF).
Also known as "revenge porn", Intimate Image Abuse is where someone shares or threatens to share intimate images or videos of you without your consent. It is a serious criminal offence, which may include:
- Posting intimate images and videos online
- Creating AI generated or edited images, or ‘deep fakes’ that appear real
- Showing other people intimate images and videos that do not belong to you
- Sending images and videos by text, email, direct message, or via social media
Intimate image abuse is not limited to nude images or videos of sexual acts. It can include someone using the bathroom, getting changed or people in their underwear or half-dressed.
Anyone can be a victim, and it doesn’t always have to be at the hands of an ex-partner, friend or someone you know. If you have been the victim of revenge porn or receive intimate media that you did not consent to, report it to the police.
There are support services available for victims, and organisations that can help to get these images or videos removed from the internet.
Some criminals target people through dating apps, social media, porn sites or personal webcams. They may try to befriend you online and quickly gain your trust, then ask for sexual images or videos, or send you one first and ask for one in return.
Criminals can also hack into your webcams or threaten to distribute intimate images or videos of you online if you do not do what they say. This generally involves sending large amounts of money and is a form of blackmail. Criminals may use both sextortion and blackmail to try and get what they are after.
If someone online makes you feel uncomfortable or you become suspicious of their intentions, you should stop engaging with them and report them. It may be helpful to review your privacy settings as criminals are less likely to target private social media accounts or closed groups.
Blackmail involves the use of embarrassing or sexual photos, videos, or other damaging information to coerce the victims into doing something. This is a criminal offence and a form of extortion. If you think someone is blackmailing you, report it to the police straight away. Do not engage with your own threats or comply with their demands as they may then demand more from you.
If you are a victim or think you may have been a victim of sextortion you can report it to the police or find your local support service.
Cyber flashing is where someone sends you unsolicited nudes (i.e. nudes that you haven't asked for). It is also known as ‘sending dick pics’ or ‘flashing’ and is a criminal offence.
The unsolicited images do not have to be real: AI generated images also count as cyberflashing. Some people do this to purposely make you uncomfortable, or for their own sexual pleasure, either way it’s wrong and never your fault.
Some examples of cyberflashing include:
- Images or videos sent via dating apps, social media, text or email
- Images or videos sent via Bluetooth, Airdrop or similar
- Images or videos left purposefully for you to see, such as on your desk at work, or someone’s phone screen in public
There is no right or wrong way to feel if you have been a victim of cyber flashing, and that is understood. It is always important to report it to the police, even if the message is no longer available as the police may be able to recover it. Try to screenshot, record or take a log of what was sent, who from, and when*.
*You should only screenshot an intimate image if you are sure the person in the image is over 18. If you are unsure, don’t screenshot, record, or share it with anyone, even the police. It could be a criminal offence.
Cyber bullying is bullying with the use of digital platforms or technology. These can include social media, emails, texts, gaming platforms and apps. The behaviour is constant, with intent to cause harm or disturbance to the target(s) and can sometimes occur alongside bullying in person.
Everything that is put on the internet leaves a digital footprint – which is useful when you report cyberbullying. Even if posts are deleted, the police and owners, moderators or developers still have access to the data.
Examples of cyber bullying include:
- Harassment
- Making fake accounts to mock, harass or impersonate others
- Sending abusive, hurtful or harmful messages and threats
- Spreading rumours, lies or slander
- Posting embarrassing photos, videos or media about others
If you are a victim of cyber bullying or know someone who is, you can block and report the accounts used and report them to the police or the relevant platforms. Support services are also available to help and may assist with getting the accounts removed.